I Hate this Most About Being Married

My husband and I are NOT the same, but we became one in matrimony. He and I are like combining lemon, and lime, and saying that’s one fruit. Yes, we’re both citrusy BUT I’m a lime, and he is a lemon. Limes are green, and smaller, whereas lemons are yellow and big. Don’t even get me started on the difference in flavor. However, yes, limes and lemons have the same nutritional benefits. Of course, our similarities brought us together, but so did our differences. So, why am I talking about lemons and limes? Just keep reading, and let me tell you the one thing that I hate most about being married.

It is when people clump my husband, and me together. We became one, but before we became one we were two, and even when we became one we’re still two individuals. Being married to me didn’t magically make my husband like eating raw tomatoes, as I like to eat it. Being married to my husband didn’t magically make me a gamer. Nope, not even an ounce. I still strongly dislike video games. They just seem so pointless to me but to my other half, that’s his favorite pass time.

Anyways, I just cannot stand it when people clump us together. I can’t because I don’t want to lose sight of who God made me to be.

I might sound odd, but I have fought hard to be who I’m today, and my husband just happens to be a part of my story. God is my identity, not my husband. I would rather be identified by who I am in God then by who I’m in my husband. That’s just not who I strive to be. Some women want them, and their husband to be one and the same, and for them, that works, but the truth is I don’t want that for my husband and me. We’re too wonderful as we’re, to let that fade.

Listen. There’s a reason why people say, husband and wife. There’s a reason why they say Mr. and Mrs. No matter how much of one you become in marriage you’re still individuals. You’re coming together, and becoming one in Christ, but He still calls you by name. He is not referring to you by your husband’s name. He calls you by your name. The name he gave you since he made you. Don’t ever forget that.,

I also want to raise my children to have a sense of self. I don’t want them to think they have to identify who they’re through my husband or me. I want them to know who they’re without us. I want them to know that they belong to God. We’re blessed to call them ours but only for a short time. They’ll always be a part of us but they’re also called by name in Christ. We will always be brothers and sisters in Christ and a small part of the bigger picture, but we all have unique responsibilities as a part of the Body of Christ. Don’t lose that identity.

I’m called by name, and I earn that name, and that privilege every day. I’m who I am in Christ. I DO NOT want to be identified by my husband. I don’t care if your partner is your better half or the same as you. In my house, we value individuality. We celebrate our differences, and we strive to be better versions of ourselves as well as a couple. As a woman, being my self is so important to me because I want to know who I’m, and I want to be proud of that person. I don’t want to lose my sense of self simply because I fell in love and got married. Christ is that very center and I can’t lose that.

Don’t get so caught up in being somebody’s that you forget who you are individually, and who you belong to before the world told you who you should belong to.

There are very few things we have in this world. Our self and who God calls us to be is one of those things. Don’t lose it.

One Comment Add yours

  1. page says:

    this was an incredible read – i LOVE your writing style! thank you so much for sharing, loved your perspective on this x


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